shubassdk: (Fangirly hearts)
I was up late yesterday doing what I'd promised myself never to do - go on dating-sites. Yes, I created profiles on and and watched as the mails rolled in and the chatconversations became too many. I don't know why I did it, but I have a feeling it had something to do with affirmation. Which I got. In quantities I didn't know excisted. I was called "an ideel woman", "too good to be true", one guy complained I didn't give him enough time and I've already been asked to go see a movie, which I won't because that's not why I created the profiles and I'm not even close to ready to start dating again, but it's nice to know that you're not completely out of the question and that people can actually like me. So, *screw Rasmus!*

Life is better, even though I think I'm getting sick. Dammit...
shubassdk: (So...uhm... christian)
I feel like dancing.


That is such a weird feeling after being immensely depressed the last 72 hours.

I think I'm healed. Or something very close to it, at least.

ETA: Plus, I just found this (I might be healed, but I'm not letting go of my stalkerish ways just yet). I just wanted to see what he would write post-break up. He's just lost, the little guy. "Relationer med mennesker" - that's me. *huggles him*
shubassdk: (So...uhm... christian)
Am so so so bored. Can't get in touch with Line about tomorrow, I even called her parents, but they said that she should be home and answering. Can't get in touch with Maria, I just wanted to talk to her about nothing, but she's not answering either. [ profile] xavantina isn't online. Rasmus should be home from Nice, but he hasn't written me, so he's probably busy with friends or family or something...

What to do, what to do...

Harry Potter or watch a movie. I should probably stay up until 2 am, or something like that to be ready for tomorrow. That means coffee.


ETA: I need to complain a little less. Maria called 15 minutes after I wrote this and Rasmus wrote at about 9:30. Silly me... *shakes head at self*
shubassdk: (Me)
Every year the idea of celebrating solstice rather than Christmas sounds more and more appealing. I mean, take last year for example, where I celebrated Christmas with my dad's side of the family. In the room were no Christians, only two had been baptised and my sister were the only confirmed (but she's regretted that ever since). *All* of us were communists or something to that extend (I, myself, is a Marxist). My grandmom is part Jewish. Our Christmas tree was a wish-wash of Christian, heathen and Jewish ornaments and we sang Christian and "normal" Christmas songs. Why, exactly, do we celebrate Christmas? Because of the rest of the world does, which is possibly the worst reason ever. We spend tons and tons on money and energy on buying things for each other, things we don't even want but have just put down on a list because someone asked for a wish-list in the last minute.

In my family only my mom's mother believed in Jesus and she's dead now. Out of 30 people who we celebrate this holiday with *NONE* believe in it. We are more or less all too scientific and logical to be able to believe in such things as God and the Bible, which is absolutely fine by me. The only thing that bothers me is why we can't celebrate on the 21st instead of the 24th, because that would make so much more sense to me.

ETA: But this makes me happy :)
shubassdk: (Must get bed)
I just remembered Michael expression at our Christmas Lunch when someone said that I's been seeing someone for two months. Let me just say that his silence spoke volumes! "Oh, really. I didn't know," and a really surprised look on his face. Remember, Michael was the guy who I hooked up with at a Friday bar and who said that he wouldn't sleep with me (uhm... I hadn't really thought about that until you brought it up). I don't know, I think he always kind of assumed that I'd always be one of the girls in his massive harem, but I have really not thought about him like that since...September. Wow, had it really been that long? Well, anyways. I loved that moment and I will think back on it and smile in many years to come. Muhahah!

Oh, and that post earlier? Just ignore that. I think the birth control pills are staring to take over my system and that this was the first sign. Just so you know ;)

And, yes, I do know that it's 02:43 in the morning. I am well aware of the fact and I am indeed going to bed now. 2+ chapters of statistics to be read tomorrow...
shubassdk: (Hephaistion - love)
Ended up not reading any more yesterday, but, yeah. It happens... Tomorrow is yet another day ;)

Rasmus ended up drinking all night, by which he means "at about 4 am we went to Martin's place with a 12-pack and then I can't really remember any more". So, yeah. Heavy drinking, but I'm okay with that, which Rebekka thinks is really weird. "You're more understanding than me", but, really, why shouldn't I be understanding about a thing like this? It's totally normal for a 21-year-old to drink (and smoke *cough*) all night with his friend. Tonight he's going to a play (a play? It's "Gynt", so I don't really know what to call it) with some friends and he hasn't answered my question about meeting up this week yet. Tomorrow night I have family visiting (probably not for longer than 8 or 9) and Thursday I have made semi-plans with Nicole and the other girls, so I'm kinda running out of time. I need answers!

Went shopping with Line today. She ended up buying a single thing and I all the gifts I was supposed to. This is turning out to be an expensive Christmas... We went to my house afterwards and really just did nothing the entire day. We goofed around like we did in high school. Seriously, if I'd been Rasmus and she his friends, we'd lie around smoking weed while doing it, that's the kind of "nothing" I'm talking about. Watching weird TV shows, re-discovering bastard pop, listening to old theme songs (MacGyver, where have you been!?) and eating chips. Yes, we really are productive.

Tomorrow, reading and *hopefully* see Rasmus, but I don't know... He'll probably have some kind of hang-over, just as he had today. I miss kissing the living daylights out of him. I miss him, god dammit!
shubassdk: (Default)
I thought it was time for a little update :)

Thursday: Skipped some classes, because I really don't get anything out of going this kind of lecture. Got a chance to talk to [ profile] vampirespider, which I really hadn't done when we met on Monday, so that was really nice :) I had gotten my hopes up about possibly drinking coffee with Rasmus, but he had wrecked his plug socket, so that kinda went out the window. *But* the Christmas Lunch was wonderful and I think everyone had a lot of fun. Didn't get too drunk, but I ended up losing my voice because I had to toast Kathrine all the time in a game we played, and Alchohol + Shouting => Teresa with no voice. At about 2 am Laura and I went home after 8 hours of goofing off and talking. Yay!

Friday: No hangover! But no voice either. Went to my doctors appointment and I ended up getting the Full Exam. As in, "now I'll gently insert this foreign object into your vagina". But, yeah, it was too bad and she was really nice about it. Went to two pharmacists after that. The first to get my birth control pills and the other to get a pregnancy text, because at this point it was a week late (turned out to be negative, so, yay!). Spent all day with Rebekka, who tried to calm me down (before I took it) and I ended up buying a really wonderful pair of jeans Woot! And they're size 36! (which is 6/8 in USA/UK, I think). A few years ago I was a 40, so this is really fantastic! Went to Friday Bar at 7:30 pm and it was so much fun! All my girlies were there and we had a blast! Kathrine had once again brought the girl who held the party where I met Rasmus and she is just so nice *loves Julie*. Goofed around with Asta and Thomas. Rasmus had said he'd like to come out of his apartment, so he might come, but he ended up falling asleep, so he didn't come (which made Saturday a mild Fourth Day, for some reason). A guy both Kathrine and I have kissed (and been asked to go his place) made passes at both of us and Kathrine ended up making out with him after we'd all left. She didn't do more than that, even though she'd told me she wanted to (luckily! He is *so not worth it!).

Saturday: Cleaned up the house and held a Christmas cosiness-thingie for my dad's family. Was pretty nice :) Went to Rebekka's apartment and *really* goofed around with Line, Maria, Nicole and her. Her place was so cold, so we all huddled up in her bed with three blankets and two cakes and read her "ladies magazines" (which means naughty stories, dildo tests and tips and tricks. A lot of laughing was done!). They all ended up going out, but I couldn't really find the energy, so I went home at about midnight. Was stopped by the police on my way home, because I was driving with no lights, but luckily I'd brought them (just forgotten to put them on) and *didn't* get a 500 kr fine! Apparently Line scored tonight, but none of them are answering my text messages (and neither is Rasmus. I'm feeling lonely now!).

Oh, and about the whole pregnancy thing: I got my period last night, eight days late. That made me say a little prayer. Now, birth control pills.
shubassdk: (So...uhm... christian)
After Ralf Rangkick's somewhat provoking behaviour on Saturday, where he went around saying goodbye to the fans, the management at Schalke has decided to fire him, like, today. So now there is no coach at Schalke 04. Luckily they have the winter break to come up with someone new...

I really don't like the feeling of my happiness being dependant on whether or not I get a text message or not. Last night I cried again, even though I had actually texted with Rasmus that day. I chatted with a girl from university, who managed to calm me down and look at the brights sides of it and it's lasted all day. Up until now. Now I'm just...blah. I just want to hold him and kiss him, right now. And I want him to know it, too, but I don't want to push it, because, A/ he's a guy and they generally don't like things forced on them, and B/ he's under an immense stress right about now with his paper having to be turned in before the 20th, so the last thing he needs is some chick somewhere, demanding attention, because unless he finds the time himself, there is no time to give. Unfortunately for me, because I'm missing him like crazy. I really am lucky that the two girls I know best at university are both dating geopgraphers themselves, so they see their guys every. single. day. And kiss. In front of me. Which makes me miss Rasmus even more. And this is turning out to be a really annoying rant, even for me, so I'm just gonna stop now.

Movie in two hours! Woot! Who said you can't use gay lovin' to escape from reality?
shubassdk: (Pieter vd H - Guh)
Franz Ferdinand concert was perfect. Timo's friends gave him the most perfect gay gifts, including a box full of pink, glittery things and a box of liquorice peni. Yes, he loved them. Then we went to KB Hallen and listened to the warm up-band, Arctic Monkeys, who rocked my socks. Unfortunately their album comes out in January, so no Christmas present there. And then Franz came out. Woot! They are *so* my favorite band. They played all my favourite songs (Michael! Yay!) and play all in all for 90 minutes, so all was well. Then I went home and ate soup.

Yesterday was spent on nothing but doing nothing. Watched Liverpool and Schalke win their respective matches and tried to read some geomorphology, but to no success. Maria came by at 11 PM and we just sat, talking for four hours, which was nice. I've told her things about Rasmus that I haven't told anyone else. It felt nice...

Today I've studied most of the day, statistics and geomorphology. I've cleaned, watched 10 mins of football and tried to catch up on current events. Have also texted with various people, including Rasmus (surprise, surprise). He has a lot of work to do on the project until they hand it in. On the 20th. Which means that if we don't find a few hours this week to see each other, we won't see each other for *three* weeks this time. Gaah!! Plus, my parents are going to spend some days in their summer house between Christmas and New Years, so I thought, "hey, we could kick my sister out of the house", but no, because he's going to France until the 30th. Life is just a bit sucky right now... *sigh* I wanna see Rasmus, god dammit!!

Ow, and my stomach hurts. I hope I'm not pregnant *period senses the stress and decides to wait a few more days to turn up*

ETA: And now I'm crying. I just miss him so god damned much! It's so horrible and scary and I don't know what to do about it. I can't concentrate on anything. I should be cleaning up, but I can't get myself to do it

ETA #2: When needing something/someone? Google is your friend. Seriously. I only feel slightly stalker-ish. The guy with now shirt
shubassdk: (Default)
"...för jag är fångad av en stormvind, fast för dej, ingenting kan hindra mej, när det blåser i mit hjärta. Fångad av en stormvind, natt och dag, här finns bara du och jag, och det ljus som himlen lämnat kvar..."

*sings and dances*

Oooh! Now, Liverpool-Middlesbrough
shubassdk: (So...uhm... christian)
I can just tell that this week will be as weird as last week. I'm already up to *here* with plans and assignments, just like last week. Only difference is that I'll probably not see Rasmus at all this week, because he's having a similar kind of week, which I can understand and sympathise with. It's just unfair! I want to see him! Now, please! Yesterday I went for a walk (with my Li'l Blue), and where did I go? Yup, down by Rasmus' appartment, just to feel close to him. Which is really really weird in a stalker-ish kind of way. Especially since I knew he wasn't home. It's just...when we'd seen Corpse Bride I walked him home and we stood, kissing there for half an hour, or something like that. It was nice to think about...

So, if we don't see each other until next week, that means we haven't seen each other for 10 days by then. Which means that when we *do* see each other, we'll be (quite frankly) all over each other. We've previously gone 10 days without seeing each other (but back then we didn't know it would be that long a period of time on beforehand) and the next time we saw each other, well, that was nice...! *cough* I think that this seperationg might actually be a good thing in the long run, because this'll make both of us appreciate each other more when we *do* see each other, plus we'll get school work done and...stuff. Yes, I'm trying to look at the bright side of not seeing him for something bordering on two weeks. It's not easy...

I've just realised that my doctors' appointment is the day after Group D (my class at Geography)'s Christmas Lunch. And my appointment is at 11 am. Hmm... I'm considdering rescheduling, because it seems a little unlikely that I'll for fight and without a hangover that early in the morning!
shubassdk: (Geekgirl)
I just got an appointment at my doctors to talk about (and get a prescription for) birth control pills. Which is pretty frightening, in a weird and un-frightening way. It's just...different. I never thought I'd come to this point, actually. Four months ago going on the pill was such a foreign thought, but now? Not so much. Birgitte and I bonded about it today, actually. So strange...

And, yes, that was TMI, but I don't care.

This week will consist of me reading all the stuff I never got around to reading last week, going to see Harry Potter (again) on Wednesday, eating at my grandmom's on Thursday and Fridaybar on, well, Friday. Rasmus has got plans all week, so I'm not missing out on anything there. The frightening part is that if he didn't have plans tomorrow night, for example, I'd totally skip reading for the lectures on Wednesday and thereby ruining my plans for getting the upper hand on reading everything in this block. The fact that he's such a huge influence on my decisionmaking is just...frightening.

My iPod (Li'l Blue) is in the house!! Yaaay! It's being updated as we speak!! I'm just so...yaaaaay!!! *dances*
shubassdk: (Geekgirl)
It's snowing!! It's really, bloody snowing!! Yay!!! *dances* It's not staying on the ground, but still!! And Christmas in less than a month!!

I've realised that when I'm happy, I eat canned tuna (Chris, am I right?). I've been eating a lot of canned tuna lately.

I just baked muffins - one batch with hazel nuts and one with almonds - for my sister's 18th birthday tomorrow. And they are sooo good...

Oooh oh oh!! You know how my purse was stolen at a party? Apparently it wasn't stolen, but it fell under the bed I'd put it on. The girl who held the party had checked under the bed, but hadn't seen it. But Wednesday night it suddenly came out in the light again! That means I have my iPod back!!!! *dances*

Oh, and I'm sorry if this LJ has been about the same two things lately (Rasmus and uni), but that's kinda what's been taking up my time lately. I'm still watching a lot of movies, I've actually finished three books in the last few months (o.O) and I still follow football (ha! That's the understatemend of the year!), so, yeah. I'm still me :)

This has been the Random Post of Today.
shubassdk: (So...uhm... christian)
This is all I can handle right now. There are possibly some cryptic things in this meme, but just ask and I'll answer :)

The \\
Last Cigarette:I've never smoked
Last Alcoholic Drink:Friday. And I'm never drinking again
Last Car Ride:just now, coming back from the restaurant
Last Kiss:Rasmus on Friday morning. Oh, how I long for Friday morning...
Last Good Cry:Uhm... I don't remember?
Last Library Book:Harry Potter #5 in Swedish. Yes, I am weird.
Last book bought:Geografiens videnskabsteori. Science theory or geography, I think?
Last Book Read:"En komikers uppväxt" by Jonas Gardell
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:Corpse Bride with Rasmus. The movie was okay, the company was great
Last Movie Rented:The Interpreter. Actually a pretty decent movie!
Last Cuss Word Uttered:Fuck, I think
Last Beverage Drank:Water, 50 kr/l. Bloody expensive...
Last Food Consumed:A wonderful 7-course Italian dinner. I am *so* full right now...
Last Crush:Well, Rasmus, but is he really a crush anymore?
Last Phone Call:To Maria, but she couldn't talk, because her mother was listening
Last TV Show Watched:Ørnen, last night *loves*
Last Time Showered:Yesterday, when my mom cut my hair
Last Shoes Worn:My wonderful new boots! *loves*
Last CD Played:Franz Ferdinand *cough*
Last Item Bought:Dr. Hauschka lip balm. So worth the 50 kr!
Last Download:Angelique Kidjo - Agolo
Last Annoyance:Rasmus' boring goodnight message - "du må sove godt!"
Last Disappointment:What Rasmus told me Thursday night. I'll probably do a rant at some point...
Last Soda Drank:I don't think sodas
Last Thing Written:A goodnight message to Rasmus
Last Key Used:Bicycle key
Last Words Spoken:"Goodnight, mom!"
Last Sleep:Last night? About 23:30-7:00
Last Ice Cream Eaten:A little lime sorbet yesterday
Last Chair Sat In:The chair at the restaurant
Last Webpage Visited:

shubassdk: (So...uhm... christian)
My life is both very confusing and not confusing at all at the same time right now. I just feel like a lot things are happening in my life, which isn't necessarily a bad thing; it just takes up a lot of my time. One of the things is that I've started Block 2 at University, which means that I have two classes, one of which is a new one (Methods, which is the theory and science of, well, science. The philosophy and logic behind it all). The thing is that we have two classes, but they are both divided into two more classes, which means that we basically have four. And that takes up a lot of time for reading and writing assignments. For tomorrow, for example, I have to read something along the lines of 75 pages. And that's only because one of the Methods classes start tomorrow, so we haven't had anything to read yet. It's not that I'm complaining (because I'm really not! I love reading about the morphology of Danish cities - beats wheat and swine any day), it's just a lot to get used to. Again.

Another things that's changed lately is the whole Rasmus-deal. I've really fallen for this guy and that scares the crap out of me. I was reading on Tuesday, but I kept reading the same page over and over again. I told Laura the next day and she told me that she reads a lot better when her boyfriend is in the next room, just because he's there. And that's exactly the way I feel. Rasmus came over on Sunday and needed to read some Philosophy, so we sat together and read our texts. I'd tried to read that very same text earlier, but couldn't. Suddenly I read a page twice as fast as earlier. Rasmus spent the night both Saturday and Sunday (Saturday we ate cake with my sister and some friends, so now he's really been introduced to my sister!), which meant that when he left on Monday morning we'd spent 36 hours together. And since then I've gotten eight text messages. None today. It's not that I don't think he likes me, because he does. It's just that, how hard can it be to send me a, "How was your day, dear?"-message? I'm sitting here silently going nuts *and* ballistic, drowning my non-existing sorrows in 38 pages of Geographical economics, but it's now working. It would really give me peace of mind if he would just text me, already... Another thing that stresses me is that we really behave like we're boyfriend/girlfriend, but none of us have mentioned that part yet. Yes, I know, I said I'd ask him the next time we saw each other, but I'm a chicken, so I didn't. I think that it's a mixture of not really having it down on paper/written a contract/"you belong to me"-kind of thing plus the fact that he hasn't written me today that's throwing me off right now. And it shouldn't, because he's probably just busy reading 100 pages of Nietzsche or Kant or Descartes or something and he'll most likely write me in an hour or three, but by then I've gone to bed and then we're back to square one. I just hope we can find some day this week to get together...

Oh, well. Basically I really am very very happy right now, but the changes are just making my life a bit more unfamiliar and scary. In a good way, I think.

This was just a way for me to explain to you guys why I'm not online that much these days. I hope you're all well and happy and I love you all!
shubassdk: (Me)
WHY is it still raining?? My hai will go absolutely berserk if it gets wet...! *shakes fist at clouds* Please leave now, you're not welcome! I have to meet Rasmus in 30 mins. and I don't wanna look like a drowned mouse.

In other news, I have a job Thursday. I'm going to count people on Hellerup station between 6-12. Six am is a bit optimistic, but I should be able to do it! I think...


shubassdk: (Default)

May 2009

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