happy thoughts!!

I thought it was time for a little update :)

Thursday: Skipped some classes, because I really don't get anything out of going this kind of lecture. Got a chance to talk to vampirespider, which I really hadn't done when we met on Monday, so that was really nice :) I had gotten my hopes up about possibly drinking coffee with Rasmus, but he had wrecked his plug socket, so that kinda went out the window. *But* the Christmas Lunch was wonderful and I think everyone had a lot of fun. Didn't get too drunk, but I ended up losing my voice because I had to toast Kathrine all the time in a game we played, and Alchohol + Shouting => Teresa with no voice. At about 2 am Laura and I went home after 8 hours of goofing off and talking. Yay!

Friday: No hangover! But no voice either. Went to my doctors appointment and I ended up getting the Full Exam. As in, "now I'll gently insert this foreign object into your vagina". But, yeah, it was too bad and she was really nice about it. Went to two pharmacists after that. The first to get my birth control pills and the other to get a pregnancy text, because at this point it was a week late (turned out to be negative, so, yay!). Spent all day with Rebekka, who tried to calm me down (before I took it) and I ended up buying a really wonderful pair of jeans Woot! And they're size 36! (which is 6/8 in USA/UK, I think). A few years ago I was a 40, so this is really fantastic! Went to Friday Bar at 7:30 pm and it was so much fun! All my girlies were there and we had a blast! Kathrine had once again brought the girl who held the party where I met Rasmus and she is just so nice *loves Julie*. Goofed around with Asta and Thomas. Rasmus had said he'd like to come out of his apartment, so he might come, but he ended up falling asleep, so he didn't come (which made Saturday a mild Fourth Day, for some reason). A guy both Kathrine and I have kissed (and been asked to go his place) made passes at both of us and Kathrine ended up making out with him after we'd all left. She didn't do more than that, even though she'd told me she wanted to (luckily! He is *so not worth it!).

Saturday: Cleaned up the house and held a Christmas cosiness-thingie for my dad's family. Was pretty nice :) Went to Rebekka's apartment and *really* goofed around with Line, Maria, Nicole and her. Her place was so cold, so we all huddled up in her bed with three blankets and two cakes and read her "ladies magazines" (which means naughty stories, dildo tests and tips and tricks. A lot of laughing was done!). They all ended up going out, but I couldn't really find the energy, so I went home at about midnight. Was stopped by the police on my way home, because I was driving with no lights, but luckily I'd brought them (just forgotten to put them on) and *didn't* get a 500 kr fine! Apparently Line scored tonight, but none of them are answering my text messages (and neither is Rasmus. I'm feeling lonely now!).

Oh, and about the whole pregnancy thing: I got my period last night, eight days late. That made me say a little prayer. Now, birth control pills.

After Ralf Rangkick's somewhat provoking behaviour on Saturday, where he went around saying goodbye to the fans, the management at Schalke has decided to fire him, like, today. So now there is no coach at Schalke 04. Luckily they have the winter break to come up with someone new...

I really don't like the feeling of my happiness being dependant on whether or not I get a text message or not. Last night I cried again, even though I had actually texted with Rasmus that day. I chatted with a girl from university, who managed to calm me down and look at the brights sides of it and it's lasted all day. Up until now. Now I'm just...blah. I just want to hold him and kiss him, right now. And I want him to know it, too, but I don't want to push it, because, A/ he's a guy and they generally don't like things forced on them, and B/ he's under an immense stress right about now with his paper having to be turned in before the 20th, so the last thing he needs is some chick somewhere, demanding attention, because unless he finds the time himself, there is no time to give. Unfortunately for me, because I'm missing him like crazy. I really am lucky that the two girls I know best at university are both dating geopgraphers themselves, so they see their guys every. single. day. And kiss. In front of me. Which makes me miss Rasmus even more. And this is turning out to be a really annoying rant, even for me, so I'm just gonna stop now.

Movie in two hours! Woot! Who said you can't use gay lovin' to escape from reality?

I love being with Rasmus. He makes me feel so special and he says the nicest things to me. But he really is the worst person at answering text messages and it's been like that since I met him, which has resulted in me becoming overly sensitive and paranoid at a very specific point in time after I've seen him. The Fourth Day. Yes, with capital letters. Chris and Freya will agree when I say that I could talk about him and me fine yesterday, but today everything has just changed and I have stomach aches, I've cried, I've whined to my girlfriends and I can't eat. I *HATE* the Fourth Day!!!! The worst part is that I can't just do something else (like studying, maybe?), because I can only think of him.

*sigh* I hate being in love...

Luckily I have a shopping date with Rebekka, so in an hour I'll hopefully be thinking of something else.

ETA: I just got a text message from Rasmus and, as I thought, this was just me being paranoid and crazy. He's lovely and I hate the fourth day. It does weird things to my brain...

Now I know what it feels like to hyperventilate. I watched the Milan-Schalke match yesterday and when Christian scored, I really hyperventilated. You know how when you experience something for the first time, but still know exactly what it is you're experiencing? That was what it was like. I started out wanting to scream, but because my voice was totally gone, I couldn't. Only a little whistling came out of my throat, and then I suddenly couldn't breathe and my eyes welled up. It was really weird, but nice at the same time. Schalke played a really good match (especially Christian), but Milan were still the better team. I'm not too disappointed about Schalke not going further in the tournament, but it still sucks... I think Ragnick should have put Søren and Ebbe in a lot sooner, because (as Morten Olsen had found out), 5 minutes isn't enough for Søren Larsen to actually score. If he'd had 15 minutes he could maybe have equalised, but we'll never know...

Rasmus went his hacky Chrismas lunch yesterday. He told me that since he's met me he's been to practise two or three times, where he'd usually spend 10-20 hours a week practising. That made me both feel really good about myself, because it's nice that he wants to spend so much time with me instead of practising, but also kinda bad, because he really likes this hacky thing and I don't want to be responsible for him not doing something he likes. He said that it he's wanted to cut back on hacky practise, because if was taking over his life, but this seems a bit extreme...

I stayed home today, again. I once again woke up with no voice and a beginning sinus infection, so I thought it wisest to stay home, since my history with ignoring a beginning sickness is kinda bad. Hopefully I'll be on top on Friday, because I'm going to see Franz Ferdinand in concert! Woot! *dances* *has coughing fit*

Now, reading a little Kuhn for tomorrow.

ETA: I just found out that it's our two month anniversary today! I can't believe it's been that long, already... And it doesn't seem to be ending any time soon. We're only at my place and now he's started to leave his things there. And when I said I hadn't watched "Riget" (Danish TV show) he said he'd make me see it at some point. And then there's the whole "I feel safe when I'm in your arms"-thing, which is just too cute for words.

I really am so grateful that Kathrine made me go to that party at her friend's house. Rasmus makes me feel so good about myself and he's so sweet to me and my sister likes him and...yeah. Life is good :)

So, yes. What's happened. Not much. Turned in my nature assignment today, hopefully it's good. Next assignment to turn in is on Wednesday, this time culture. Hmm... Oh, I texted with Rasmus today and we agreed to meet up on Monday! He has some group work, but "I'll fight to be there!" Aww... :) Last time I saw Rasmus was Thursday morning last week, so by now I'm almost going out of my mind. On day #4 I was at my worst, questioning everything and everyone! Rasmus had told me he had a lot of work (still has), so he hasn't texted me in a while. I asked him if we maybe, if he had the time, we could go see a movie at some point before he turns in his paper (on December 16th). His answer? "Before December 16th!? I should hope so! Not seeing you would be torture!" Gah!! I'll just be over here, melting... If I couldn't have the real thing beside me, at least that message kept me warm all night.

Tomorrow we have our Christmas Lunch dinner (yes.) at Geography. Should be a lot of fun! I promise you *ALL* that I will not try and get wasted, because I am sick and tired of spending all of the following day being, well, sick. I'll just have to come to terms with the fact that I'm both little, a girl and not very used to alchohol in my system (yes, still), so I need, like, half of the alchohol everyone else needs to get drunk. But I am seriously in love with my outfit! I've bought this top in red (it *is* Christmas, after all) and I'll wear it with some long, dark blue jeans and my black, tall boots. Woot! I'm loving this outfit so much, because it both looks kinda glamorous, but still low key. The perfect mix! So tomorrow night will be all about the flirting with my past flirts, I think. Look what you guys missed out on! Ha!

So, as you can see I have lots to do these days and will have for the rest of December (more assignments coming after that culture one), but everything is nice a good and life is wonderful!

:D

I just got an appointment at my doctors to talk about (and get a prescription for) birth control pills. Which is pretty frightening, in a weird and un-frightening way. It's just...different. I never thought I'd come to this point, actually. Four months ago going on the pill was such a foreign thought, but now? Not so much. Birgitte and I bonded about it today, actually. So strange...

And, yes, that was TMI, but I don't care.

This week will consist of me reading all the stuff I never got around to reading last week, going to see Harry Potter (again) on Wednesday, eating at my grandmom's on Thursday and Fridaybar on, well, Friday. Rasmus has got plans all week, so I'm not missing out on anything there. The frightening part is that if he didn't have plans tomorrow night, for example, I'd totally skip reading for the lectures on Wednesday and thereby ruining my plans for getting the upper hand on reading everything in this block. The fact that he's such a huge influence on my decisionmaking is just...frightening.

My iPod (Li'l Blue) is in the house!! Yaaay! It's being updated as we speak!! I'm just so...yaaaaay!!! *dances*

My life is both very confusing and not confusing at all at the same time right now. I just feel like a lot things are happening in my life, which isn't necessarily a bad thing; it just takes up a lot of my time. One of the things is that I've started Block 2 at University, which means that I have two classes, one of which is a new one (Methods, which is the theory and science of, well, science. The philosophy and logic behind it all). The thing is that we have two classes, but they are both divided into two more classes, which means that we basically have four. And that takes up a lot of time for reading and writing assignments. For tomorrow, for example, I have to read something along the lines of 75 pages. And that's only because one of the Methods classes start tomorrow, so we haven't had anything to read yet. It's not that I'm complaining (because I'm really not! I love reading about the morphology of Danish cities - beats wheat and swine any day), it's just a lot to get used to. Again.

Another things that's changed lately is the whole Rasmus-deal. I've really fallen for this guy and that scares the crap out of me. I was reading on Tuesday, but I kept reading the same page over and over again. I told Laura the next day and she told me that she reads a lot better when her boyfriend is in the next room, just because he's there. And that's exactly the way I feel. Rasmus came over on Sunday and needed to read some Philosophy, so we sat together and read our texts. I'd tried to read that very same text earlier, but couldn't. Suddenly I read a page twice as fast as earlier. Rasmus spent the night both Saturday and Sunday (Saturday we ate cake with my sister and some friends, so now he's really been introduced to my sister!), which meant that when he left on Monday morning we'd spent 36 hours together. And since then I've gotten eight text messages. None today. It's not that I don't think he likes me, because he does. It's just that, how hard can it be to send me a, "How was your day, dear?"-message? I'm sitting here silently going nuts *and* ballistic, drowning my non-existing sorrows in 38 pages of Geographical economics, but it's now working. It would really give me peace of mind if he would just text me, already... Another thing that stresses me is that we really behave like we're boyfriend/girlfriend, but none of us have mentioned that part yet. Yes, I know, I said I'd ask him the next time we saw each other, but I'm a chicken, so I didn't. I think that it's a mixture of not really having it down on paper/written a contract/"you belong to me"-kind of thing plus the fact that he hasn't written me today that's throwing me off right now. And it shouldn't, because he's probably just busy reading 100 pages of Nietzsche or Kant or Descartes or something and he'll most likely write me in an hour or three, but by then I've gone to bed and then we're back to square one. I just hope we can find some day this week to get together...

Oh, well. Basically I really am very very happy right now, but the changes are just making my life a bit more unfamiliar and scary. In a good way, I think.

This was just a way for me to explain to you guys why I'm not online that much these days. I hope you're all well and happy and I love you all!

Back from the lovely Deutschland! Every time I visit Berlin I love the city just a little bit more - it's just that wonderful!! I wanna go back already. We did got the absolute most out of the 48 hours we had, we shopped around all of Berlin, visited tourist attractions, ate good food, went drinking and goofed around. One of the others had been there before, but it had been such a long time that he couldn't remember the geography of the city or the language, so I ended up being the tour guide/translator (in spite of it being, what, 5 years since I had German? Long live forum-aufschalke.de!!). Since I went to Berlin with a gay guy and a couple, all three of whom having no trouble talking about sex, and after being with Rasmus, the topic being discussed and used in 75 % of all our conversations ended up being sex in every aspect imaginable. Seriously, I know things now that I didn't think possible! And I have plenty of things to...*cough*...explore. Too bad for Rasmus that I'm sailing in the Red Sea... Anyway! I wanted to buy that Schalke key ring, but I seriously couldn't find any football/sports stored anywhere, so I came home empty handed.

In other news, my *long* vacation-thingy is finally ending. I'm going back to university on Monday after 5 weeks with no classes. Yes, seriously. But I think I'm more ready for what's coming this time than I was 2½ months ago. I'm really looking forward to learning new things (plus city morphology beats agriculture *every time*). And I miss the others like crazy. Just being able to see Kalle, Thomas, Mads, Anders, Birgitte, Asta and the rest in the halls and at the lectures makes everything better.

I miss Rasmus... He said he'd missed me, too. That makes me happy :)

Wow, that went pretty well, I think. I told my dad that a guy I'd met was coming by and he was fine with it. My sister got to talk to him a bit, but not that much. My parents were supposed to have met him, too, but we were...distracted *cough* Oh, and he spent the night. It was just so nice lying next to him all night - he was *right there!* And I could kiss him any time I wanted. He's just the sweetest guy, ever *huggles him* But I don't think my sister was that happy. She was really happy on beforehand and glad to meet him, but apparently we were so noisy (the wall between us is a tree door and a wall made of plaster), that she had to sleep in the addic. And she wasn't that happy this morning. She said two words to me and slammed the door when she left. But I just see this as revenge from when she did that with her old boyfriend, so I really can't have any bad feelings about this. At all. And if I know my parents well they won't even mention Rasmus, until they can ensure that the entire conversation will be awkward as hell!

So, life is perfect!

They just played an Hamburger SV-fan song on the radio. My parents were sure it must be a parody, but I'd heard Schalke-songs before. This was not a parody. They are dead serious. "Hah-es-fau", all the way.

Oooh! And Schalke is still hanging on in the Champions' League with a 2-0 win over Fenerbahce, so, woot!! *dances around Ebbe Sand*

And I met Rasmus yesterday. And it was so so so nice. We met at 6:45 pm in front of the cinema and I was greeted with a smile and a long kiss. We ordered the tickets and then went to find some food, while walking hand in hand. We ate some pizza and then walked around for an hour, stopping and kissing from time to time. We got some coffee at a café and just sat there, talking about anything and everything. We touched the subject of girlfriends/boyfriends a few times and he dropped hints about "so, when I'm going to meet your parents..." and stuff like that. We then saw the movie ("Corpse Bride"), which was good. We kissed all the way through commercials (including the Harry Potter trailer! Yes, I have already made my first sacrifice) and held hands all the way through the movie. The movie ended at about 11 pm, after which we walked around some more, asking each other questions and stuff like that. I followed him hime and left him wonderfully sexually frustrated (yet again) at about 1:30. We agreed that next time we meet will be within the nearest future and not in two weeks (he had been stressed out and I had my exam and stuff). I think we're dating right now, but it could easily turn into something more!

Am I happy? Oh, yes I am!! *dances around the livingroom*

ETA: I think I'm going to implode very very soon.